Tech/Quotes
Tech:Bah the Norse were a bunch of idiotic barbarians! Going to Hell if you died of old age indeed! Pangolin: Are you just mad because Thor beat you up? Tech: Get the Hell out of my workshop. *'Tech':Thor, my foot! I'll bet you're just some psychopath who thinks he is! You probably rounded up a bunch of other nuts just like you who share these weird delusions! Thor': Say that again and thou shalt taste the fury of Mjolnir! Tech: Yes, yes Mjolnir the fabled hammer of Thor! Where did you get that, S-Mart? *'Sparky': You do know that Fuma shuriken don't exist don't you? Tech: Well...yeah, but they look cool, don't they? Sparky: And Kunai don't even look like that. Tech: Get the Hell out of my workshop. *'Tech': Yes, Mr. Hercules, could you please tell me the name of your father? Hercules: Zeus, why? Tech: And where are you from? Hercules:Greece. Where is this goi-? Tech: And if you are from Greece and your father is Zeus then that would make you Greek, correct? Hercules: Yes but- Tech: Then if you are from Greece and your father is Zeus then your name should be Heracles, not Hercules! You're not really a god at all, just some weirdo who thinks he is but isn't going to bother to do research! Sparky: Oh God, not this again. *'Random child': Wow thank you Iron Man! Tech: Ir-Iron man? I'm Tech kid! You know, the Offbeats smartest member? Random child: No. Tech: Damn that Iron Man! *'Tech (Earth T)': You're Starscream aren't you? Let’s see if I can pilot you. Starscream (Earth T): W-What?! Get out of me, human! *'Tech': So uh, what do you guy's think of Muscle? Sparky: She's fascinating. If I had strength like that I could be invincible, unstoppable! I could- Pangolin: I think she's nice, and really normal too. Tech: She wears a freaking pinafore! You call that normal?! *'Tech': Okay, what do you want to watch next? Spider-Man trying to catch bullets or Doc Doom getting beaten by school teachers? Muscle: Where did you get these video's? Tech: I have drones all over the city, even some in...uh, that place where Doom's from. *'Tech': So, wait, you have a time machine? Doctor Doom: Yes but it only allows you to view past events, not change them. Tech: Hmmm, pretty crappy time machine you've got. *'Teen #1 (Earth-1610)': Ok, so explain it to me again? Teen #2 (Earth-1610): We cover a tennis ball in gasoline, throw it through someone's car window, yell "Spunkball!" and drive off. Got it? Teen #1 (Earth-1610): Uh, yeah I think so. Teen #2 (Earth-1610): Good. Look there's a car with the window down. (Drives up to car where driver's face is concealed by shadow) Spunkba-! (Driver pulls out katanna and hold it to teens throat while moving out of shadow) Tech (Earth-1610): You, just, try it. *'Tech (Earth-1610)': Pangolin? Pangolin (eath-1610): Yes, Tech? Tech (Earth-1610): Get out of my la-bore-a-torrey! *'Pangolin': Ok, so explain it to me one more time. tech: Sigh. Look, it's really very simple. Time travel cannot alter the future. Pangolin: Why? Tech: Time paradoxes of course. Look, say I went back in time and...and killed Hitler before he started World War II. We would live in a world where World War II never happened. Pangolin: That's good. 'Tech:Well yes, if it could actually happen, but the universe doesn't allow it. Pangolin: Huh? Tech: Well see, if I did kill Hitler then he wouldn't exist as he did in our universe. And then there would have been no need to go back in time kill him. This creates a paradox which makes sure that I couldn't have killed Hitler at all. Worst case scenario is getting caught in a time-loop where you get stuck doing the same thing over and over again. However, there is a way to avoid these paradoxes, but it is done in such a way that it is if you've never really changed the past at all. Again, lets say I killed Hitler, to avoid a paradox I would have to replace him with an android that looked and acted exactly like Hitler. Of course that would defeat the purpose of going back in time and killing Hitler, but it ensures that we don't get stuck in time-loops. Or as an alternative, you could do something so incredibly minor, that it doesn't warrent the need for a paradox, something liking moving a rock or something. Any questions? (Pangolin stares at him, mouth open) Good. *'Tech': You see, Sparky may look sort of scrawny and be incrediblly clumsy, but the thing you got to know about him is that he's an incredibul acrobat. Gauntlet:...Uh... Tech: What I mean is, he's fast, really fast and he's agile. That's what makes him so good in hand-to-hand combat. Not only that but he knows all sorts of martial arts. Gauntlet: Taught to him by you? Tech: I find that offensive. Gauntlet: Oh, sorry. Tech: It's okay, but I don't know a thing about martial arts, no. The guy you want to see about that is Dragonfly. He is a martial arts expert, knows all sorts. *'Tech': This is even more tragic than...than... Sparky: Maggie's death? Tech: Yeah thats-wait, what? *'Pangolin': Check it out. I got some new shrimp for the aquarium. Tech: Oh yeah? What did you get? Pangolin: Mantis shrimp. Tech: WHAT?! Pangolin: Uh, I said mantis shrimp. What's wrong with-(glass breaks, water purs out)? Tech: 50 mph punches you idiot! *'Sparky': Tech, what are you doing? Tech: Teaching the robot geography. Go on, show him what you've learnt. C.A.B.: Mexico...is a walnut. Tech: What? No! Sparky (pats Tech on the shoulder): you've made some real progress there pal. Tech: Oh shut up! *'Tech (Earth-2000714)(as Caerrian fighters fly overhead)': What the Hell was that? Sparky (Earth-2000714): They looked like...heh, heh, iron birds of fortune. Tech: Huh? Pangolin(Earth-2000714): Oh, heh heh. Adrift above the skies? Heh heh. Tech (Earth-2000714): Sorry, is this a private joke or something? Cause I really want to know what was so funny. *'Pangolin (referring to Sparky)': WHy does he twitch every time we mention Moonshine? Tech: Who knows. While we're on the subject, why the Hell does he stick his thumb out and twirl his index finger when he's listening to Billy Idol? Category:Articles by Ultrabountyhunter